How to balance parasocial relationships as a streamer
Written by BusyGamerBelle
Published on May 8th, 2024
Growing your career as a professional gamer is enticing. Many of us flock to major platforms to be seen, and with that comes a decision we all have to make: how much of us do we want people to know? For some, it’s easy. Viewers are just that, viewers, and they don’t get to know us beyond the surface level. But the longer gamers stream and upload videos, the more comfortable we get, and we may even make a few friends and professional contacts too.
So what’s the problem? In many visible professions, "celebrity" and "relatability" are how popular you can get online. Think of any popular streamer or YouTuber, and you’ll find that thousands of people feel as if they know the people behind the games being played. Taking this outside of gaming for a minute, think of any popular fanbase of a popular artist, and you’ll have rabid people who follow everything that person does. Is it good for the bottom line of the artist? Yes, and to grow your channel, it is good for you too. However, unlike celebrities, regular people like you don’t have the luxury of putting out products and walking away; at least not initially, so many of us remain hobbyists or “working” gamers.
As a hobbyist or working gamer trying to become the next big thing, you will desire a fanbase. You get a few people here and there subscribing to you and donating in some way, which makes you feel good. At a certain point, as your gaming platform grows, you may find that more people are interested in becoming your “friend” and falling for the persona you’ve presented online. But, even if you find yourself authentic for your followers, no one can be the version your friends and family outside of gaming know. It’s too personal and potentially dangerous, especially when your information is in the hands of random people. Unfortunately, this is the tricky nature of parasocial relationships.
Here’s some advice on how to navigate parasocial relationships while growing your channels and staying safe.
Set Boundaries
When it comes to gaming and building real connections, the way you can continue to enjoy a positive gaming experience is by setting boundaries between you and your followers. If you do this upfront and set your intentions, a majority of the people who make it to your channel will follow your guidelines. Some people will disregard your rules; in this case, you can remind them about your boundaries or ban them. The point is to let your fellow gamers know whether you're playing games for fun, practice, or to socialize.
As you grow and build relationships with people, you’ll want to share more about yourself. This is okay, but it’s also wise to keep details like your full name and address to yourself. Instead, focus on gaming to foster connections and build respect.
Be Realistic
While setting boundaries, naturally, your followers will still feel as if they know you because they were with you from the beginning or during a hard time. You should, when you can, be transparent with your followers about online relationships. You can remind them that while you appreciate their support, this dynamic is different from real friendships. Given the rise of streamers and watchers during the beginning of the pandemic, people are looking for opportunities to connect. Try to encourage followers to do something outside of your streams when something seems too serious. Sometimes helping followers understand that you not only value their support but also think developing unhealthy dependencies is also good.
Take Breaks
If you can’t get your fans to fall back, you can control your situation by prioritizing your mental health. Do this by setting aside time away from streaming and uploading to recharge. Not everyone is like this, but if you are, avoid becoming overly dependent on validation from your followers. If you don’t seek validation, then you can easily step away and spend more time with family and friends. By prioritizing self-care, you can model healthy behavior for your audience and reinforce the importance of maintaining a balanced lifestyle.
Overall, navigating parasocial relationships as a gamer is tricky because it can help and hinder you. Your relationships require boundary-setting, healthy interactions, and realistic expectations. When you set boundaries between your public and personal lives, you cultivate a balanced and authentic online presence (which is the whole point of gaming in the first place).
Written by BusyGamerBelle for the May 2024 Lady Arcaders Newsletter.